Can’t believe how dangerous the streets are becoming! Just this afternoon I stole an old ladys handbag and punched someone at a bus stop.
Just had an email about a cheap holiday in Syria. Don’t think I’ll BEHEADING to the Middle East any time soon.
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it… My illegal logging business is a great success.
Went on a date last night which was a total disaster. The girl told he over the phone she was expecting a baby, so I went to the pub wearing nothing but a nappy, felt like a right f*cking idiot!
What do you call an expert fisherman? A Master Baiter.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.