I’m no pilot…. But I’ll happily enter your cockpit.
Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
I texted my wife a picture of my flaccid peenis today. I wanted to let her know I was thinking about her.
Q. How do you know when your wife has died? A. The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
Q. What do subway and prostitution have in common?
A. They both get paid to do your wife’s job.
People say dogs are loyal and man’s best friend but I think cats are more loyal than dogs. A cat has never ratted on anyone for having drugs.