Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Mar

Crawling Back

By Peter21

+24 -10

My ex-girlfriend came crawling back knocking on my door today so I opened the door and agreed to give her back her wheelchair.

Jun

Sister

By Dave

in Relationship Jokes

+20 -6

The following conversation took place between a doctor and his patient:

You had sex with my sister!!
She was lying naked in my office. What was I supposed to do?
The autopsy you sick bastard.

Apr

Jesus Love You

By Ronaldo

in Dirty Jokes

+29 -15

Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a church it feels nice.
Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a Mexican prison is quite scary and is usually followed by severe ass pain.

Mar

Great Plague

By Tom

in Religious Jokes

+45 -31

The following took place about 4’000 years ago.

God: I’m gonna create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I’m gonna create a great flood!

Jun

Body

By SteveB

in General Jokes

+33 -19

My doctor told me today that I have the body of a 25 year old.
Not sure how he discovered my secret so I decided to kill him and bury them both together.

Aug

Adopted

By Brucey

in Relationship Jokes

+27 -13

For me the hardest part of telling my son he was adopted was learning Chinese.