Went to the zoo yesterday and saw a discarded baguette in the monkey enclosure.
It was bread in captivity.
Do you like discounts when you go shopping? Because if you do you should come to my house, clothing is 100% off.
Four words men hate during sex. “Is it in yet!”
Four words women hate during sex. “Hey honey I’m home!”
The following conversation took place in a hospital.
Doctor: I’m sorry you’ve got AIDs. Patient: Can I have a 2nd opinion? Doctor: Yeah sure, you’re ugly as well.
Just invented an invisibility cloak. Everything you cover becomes invisible. Unfortunately you can still see the cloak itself so further work is needed.
What’s another word for thesaurus?