Best Funny General Jokes

I used to think my dad suffered from tourettes but it turns out he just thinks I’m a c*nt.

I hate it when funerals are at 9am. I’m not a mourning person.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?
I’m not going to spread it.

When you’re sad remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 5 muscles to shoot a sniper riffle.

Money doesn’t buy you happiness but it can buy you a jet-ski. Once you’re riding the jet-ski it’s actually impossible to be sad.

Even after years of training at medical school it’s always sad when a patient dies. That’s the hardest part of being a dentist.