Best Funny Animal Jokes

What do you call a female peacock? A peacunt.

Just seen a man at the beach shouting “Help, shark! Help!”.
What an idiot, how can a shark help a human?

My kids cried when I put ginger in their curry tonight. They loved that little kitten.

Phoned the NHS line today and said, “I’m having a real problem getting an erection.”

“Well we’re here to help you as much as we can sir,” the woman replied.

“Great!” I burst out. “What colour panties are you wearing?”

Apparently the female spider devours the male minutes after mating. It takes female humans years to do that.

I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky b*stard didn’t even eat it.