Just been looking at Beyonce tickets and they’re $1300 each, wtf. For that price she better jump in the crowd and suck my d*ck.
The following conversation took place between Hillary Clinton and Satan.
Hillary: I thought you said I was gonna win the election!! Satan: I thought you said you had a soul.
Just discovered a great way to save time in the morning. I now eat breakfast before I go to bed.
All my of my 15 psychiatrists say that I have an addictive persolality.
I’ve been slowly torturing a centipede for the past 98 days. It’s on its last legs now.
Q. What’s the richest cheese in the world?
A. Paris Stilton