I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping: I took my girlfriend into eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.
Hired a landscape gardener but he’s said he’s unable to help me because my garden is portrait.
Black Friday special. Stay at home and save 100%.
Q. How did the chicken get to the other side? A. Suicide
Q. Why do women defy the laws of gravity? A. Because the heavier they get the easier they are to pick up.
Unbeatable prices, beatable customers… United Airlines.