My girlfriend recently became a world famous porn star.
She’s gonna be really angry when she finds out.
Until recently I used to think all my work colleagues were hatching some sort of evil plan against me but then I discovered they’re actually using alcohol hand gel.
Called a rape advice hotline the other day for some support but apparently it’s just for victims.
I slept like a log last night…. Woke up in a forest covered with ants.
Me and my wife are total opposites. She donates money to the homeless, I donate money to the topless.
I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase “Thanks for coming” ?