Best Funny Political Jokes

What do Santa Claus and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They can both be in two places at once.

I can’t believe all this global warming bullsh*t. The c*nts are always telling people to turn their lights off to save energy and help the planet. Last night I followed their advice, turned my lights off and ended up killing a pedestrian.

Now pay attention, 007; this looks like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it around.

Just heard on the radio that apparently Colonel Sanders got the idea for KFC during WWI when he was raiding a German chicken farm using a flame thrower.

Just seen Simon Cowell drowning in my local swimming pool so I saved him ……….. as my profile picture on facebook.

Greta Thunberg is such a hypocrite. She asked me to use a condom last night even though it’s made from polluting plastic.