Best Funny General Jokes

Worst thing to say in a job interview:

“Does your company block porno websites and how long do I get for toilet breaks? “

I gave my liver a big surprise today, I actually drank a glass of water.

Have you heard about that new TV program about origami?
It’s paper view.

Can’t believe how much of a sarcasm expert I’ve become recently. People are actually starting to think I’m really polite.

The five stages of life:

1. Birth.
2. Pissing and shiting yourself.
3. Having to pay for everything.
4. Pissing and shiting yourself.
5. Death.

I’ve managed to loose loads of weight this month. The whole ‘not having any money for food’ thing is really working well.