Q. Why doesn’t Santa have any kids? A. Because he always wraps his package
What is the world coming to? Heard on the radio today that scientists have discovered dolphins enjoy having sex. Scientists should stop shagging animals and treat them with more respect.
When I die, I’d like the word ‘Humble’ to be written in diamonds on my 20ft statue made from solid gold.
My girlfriend doesn’t like me using the ‘c’ word which is fair enough, I should probably learn to use her mothers real name.
Money doesn’t buy you happiness but it can buy you a jet-ski. Once you’re riding the jet-ski it’s actually impossible to be sad.
2020 Olympic high jump results: Gold – Mexico Silver – Mexico Bronze – Mexico