Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Supermarket

in General Jokes
+26 -25

Just went to the supermarket and bought a loaf of bread and a cucumber. After serving me the cashier said, “your must be single”. I said “Yes I am, how could you tell?”, he then said “because you’re really ugly”.

Mating

in Animal Jokes
+53 -52

Apparently the female spider devours the male minutes after mating. It takes female humans years to do that.

Santa

in Dirty Jokes
+27 -27

Q. Why doesn’t Santa have any kids?
A. Because he always wraps his package

Dolphins

in Animal Jokes
+21 -21

What is the world coming to? Heard on the radio today that scientists have discovered dolphins enjoy having sex. Scientists should stop shagging animals and treat them with more respect.

Humble

in General Jokes
+26 -26

When I die, I’d like the word ‘Humble’ to be written in diamonds on my 20ft statue made from solid gold.

C Word

in Relationship Jokes
+19 -19

My girlfriend doesn’t like me using the ‘c’ word which is fair enough, I should probably learn to use her mothers real name.