Yo mama is so stupid she has to set the password for her computer as ‘incorrect’ so when she types it in wrong the computer can tell her what to type.
Q. What’s the best thing about having an Ethiopian girlfriend? A. You know she’ll swallow.
My wife told me today that I was one in a million. After checking through her text messages it looks like she was right.
Just had the following argument with the wife while out shopping:
Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? Me: Do you promise not to get mad whatever I say? Wife: Yes, sure. Me: I f*cked your sister.
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk.
Really satisfied my wife in bed last night. I slept on the sofa.