An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. Christ she said “you didnt F*ck Me like that 50yrs ago! To which the old man replied “50 yrs ago that fence Wasnt F*cking electric!
At a family breakfast the following conversation takes place between a dad and his 7 year old son.
Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”
Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!