Just invented a vaccine that can save 3 million Africans per year.
It’s called FOOD.
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.
I had a threesome last night.
Two people didn’t show up though, so I had to take matters into my own hands.
Stepped on my weighing scale this morning and it said:
“Please use social distancing, one person at a time”.
Tomorrow, I’m going to open up the time capsule I made 20 years ago when I was a kid. I can’t wait to see how big my puppy is.
One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal?