Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
I love blind dates. I spent the whole time staring at her tits and she didn‘t even notice.
What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball together? Juan on Juan.
If you had the choice between being as rich as Bill Gates or having world peace, what color Lamborghini would you buy?
When God created the world he made everyone different but he became tired when he got to the Chinese.
I’ve just invented a great new iPhone alarm app. If you press the snooze button 3 times it automatically emails your boss telling them that your gonna be sick.