I love blind dates. I spent the whole time staring at her tits and she didn‘t even notice.
What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball together? Juan on Juan.
If you had the choice between being as rich as Bill Gates or having world peace, what color Lamborghini would you buy?
Had a beard growing competition over the weekend with one of my Indian friends from work. She won.
Had a really great night out last night according to my police report.
‘Black Friday’ is such a scam, stuff’s not even that cheap. I prefer ‘Black Riot Day’, all you need to do is find a good shop with the windows broken and you can grab as much stuff as you like totally free of charge.