Hi I’m gay, can I touch your boobs?
Whats pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife.
(In a busy nightclub or bar)
Man: Hey, fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter? Fat Woman: Oh yes, I’d love to. Man: Thanks, you’re making me and the boys feel sick.
Hi, last night my computer wouldn’t allow me to reset my windows password because it needed numbers. Can I have your number?
Q. What do you call a magician who is crap at magic? A. Ian
Why do deaf people watch TV late at night? Because they can’t hear their alarm go off in the morning.