Finally got an Asda delivery slot for my shopping. I’ve ordered Turkey, sprouts and some Christmas crackers.
Why do deaf people watch TV late at night? Because they can’t hear their alarm go off in the morning.
I first met my wife at the London 2012 Special Olympics, it was a no brainier.
Hi my name is Jay but people call me J for short.
Whats pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife.
(In a busy nightclub or bar)
Man: Hey, fancy going for a few drinks somewhere a little quieter? Fat Woman: Oh yes, I’d love to. Man: Thanks, you’re making me and the boys feel sick.