Don’t you just hate it when you kiss a girl and her eyes are open. It usually means you have about 5 minutes before she regains consciousness.
China have recently announced they are sending a man into space. They’re going to form a gigantic human pyramid and carry the astronaut to the top.
Just got a Sat Nav for bachelors. After every turn you get a new woman.
A blind man walks into a bar.
Decided to have a posh wank today.
The people at the suit hire shop were really angry that I ruined their tuxedo.
Just did a great prank on my Grandma, I replaced all her sugar with cocaine.