Don’t you just hate it when you kiss a girl and her eyes are open. It usually means you have about 5 minutes before she regains consciousness.
My son walked in today with his new girlfriend.
“This is Sarah,” he burst out.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” I smiled.
“Really? All good I hope,” she smirked.
“Oh yes, he’s a lucky boy,” I replied. “It was a year before his mother let me do her in the ass.”
yo mama so fat people will think everyday is her birthday
You know you’ve had a bad Valentine’s Day when the lamppost by the pub gets more cards and flowers than you.
How to climb a small Staircase.
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 Step 5 Step 6 Step 7
Just found out that I have Jewish blood in my family. My German grandfather was a scientist in the 1940s and he has a load of lab equipment in his basement.