Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Little Girl

in Dirty Jokes
+12 -37

Just had a message from that girlfriend that she’s had a beautiful little girl weighing 7lbs 3oz. Coincidentally that’s the same size as my c*ck.

Overheard Pickup Line

in Pick Up Lines
+15 -40

Hi, I overheard you talking with your friend and I’d just like to say that you’re really boring the shit out of me. Every word you speak is like a pillow over my face.

Candlelit Dinner

in Relationship Jokes
+18 -44

Me and my wife had a candlelit dinner for the first time last night. It was terrible, everything was really under-cooked and tasted of wax.

Seven Seconds

in Dirty Jokes
+13 -39

Apparently men think about sex every seven seconds. Luckily I wrote this in sex.

Hit Dog

in Animal Jokes
+16 -42

Just hit a dog with my car on the way home from work. It’s OK though, I stopped the car, picked up the dog and put a suicide note under its paw.

Yesterday

in General Jokes
+10 -36

Yesterday I had to change a lightbulb. Today I had a drink in a bar with a Jew and an Irish man.

Looks like my life has become one big joke.