I came into a lot of money last week which is unusual for me… I normally uses tissues.
Hi, do you want to follow me on twitter? My address is @millionairewithamassivecock.
What’s the difference between ‘highly flammable’ and ‘inflammable’? I can never remember… Arghhh my eyes!!
Got my sick dog put down earlier today. I was worried it was gonna be expensive but they actually did it for free and they gave me a bag of prawn crackers with 3 spring rolls.
Just saved a woman tonight from the shame of prostitution. I didn’t pay her.
Been shittin bricks for the past few days. I accidentally swallowed some Lego over Christmas.