Been shittin bricks for the past few days. I accidentally swallowed some Lego over Christmas.
My new girlfriend is an animal in bed. Her pussy is wetter than a retards chin.
I’d just like to thank all those people who have taken the time to put beautiful flowers by the side of the road. It really brightens up my drive to work.
Just saved a woman tonight from the shame of prostitution. I didn’t pay her.
What’s the difference between an Afghan hospital and an Al Qaeda training camp?
I don’t know I just fly the drone.
Got a rubbish thesaurus for my birthday the other day. It was rubbish.