My friend told me that I just don’t understand irony.
Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.
You look like I need another drink.
Q: Where is the toilet ? A: Shit on the floor
Two Irish men talking in a bar, Mick and Paddy.
“So Paddy what’s your ringtone?” says Mick “I’ve never looked Mick but I would imagine it’s a light brown colour”.
What do you call a Chinese person who accidentally brushes his teeth with super glue?
Foo King Mong
Can’t believe how thirsty my Grandma is. Just drove past her house and she’s got about 10 pints of milk on her doorstep.