What do you call a cow that lives in a cave?
Ground beef
Why did Jesus rise from the dead at Easter?
Because he loves chocolate eggs.
Just been thrown out of the marines for sexually assaulting someone during martial arts training. Apparently the Sergent told us to fight ‘hand-to-hand’ not ‘hand-to-gland’.
Q. Why are vegetarians really good at giving head? A. Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Q. How do you find your inner child? A. Coat hanger.
I killed 200 million people last night and feeling quite guilty. That’s the last time I read dirty magazine in bed.