This week I managed to do 14 press ups. I did two press-ups every day for 7 days.
What if life is a reality tv show created by aliens and the winner is the person who gets the most guests to go to their funeral.
I found out some cunt shagged my bird last night. This morning, there was jizz dribbling out of my turkey.
What’s green and melts in your mouth? A leper’s c*ck.
Q. How can you tell that God is a man? A. Because if he was a woman men would shit diamonds and sperm would taste like chocolate.
Yo mama is so stupid that when I told her Windows had no virus protection she called a builder.