I got injured playing table tennis yesterday. It’s great having the extra surface area but the added weight can really hurt your back.
Man: Is this seat taken? Woman: Yeah, my boyfriend is sitting there. Man: Really? Well he must be really small then.
Just be arrested for indecency at my local homeless shelter after trying to help them cook Christmas dinner. Apparently they told me to PLUCK the turkey.
Hi how’s it going? I’ve got Alzheimer’s… Are you my girlfriend?
Just got sacked from my job at the daycare center. Apparently ‘Schindler’s List’ is an inappropriate film for a 5 year old’s birthday party.
Q.Why should you not microwave vegetables? A.The wheelchair can damage the microwave.