Yo mama is so dirty when I asked her what’s for dinner she sat on my face and said Tuna.
Whenever I create a job advert I always instantly throw away half of the resumes I receive.
I don’t want unlucky people on my team.
Donald Trump went into hospital recently for a circumcision operation.The doctor said “Sorry I can’t go through with this. It’s too dangerous because Donald is a total dick”.
If Gordon Ramsay made sat-navs:
“F*ck off you brainless asshole, you were supposed to turn right!!”
Finally managed to cure my dry skin problem, I’ve stopped using towels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? Apparently he sacrificed his pet chicken to Santa.