Man: Hi, you look great without glasses Woman: I don’t wear glasses Man: I do *Put glasses back on*
I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words “That bus is going quite fast.”
Went to see my psychiatrist today. I keep having dreams where I’m a famous author working on the the Lords of The Rings Trilogy. He said it sounds like I’ve been Tolkien in my sleep.
Did you hear about the new car that’s been release in Portugal? It can fit a small child in the boot. It’s called the Renault McCann
Guy: Would you suck dick for a ripe banana? Girl: No Guy: What would you suck dick for? Girl: Nothing Guy: So, you suck dick for nothing?
The following conversation took place in an Irish post office.
Murphy: Paddy why are you talking to that envelope? Paddy: I’m trying to send a voicemail.