I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words “That bus is going quite fast.”
Can’t believe how unlucky I am. Woke up this morning itching and with a big rash. Looks like I might be allergic to prostitutes.
Did you hear about the new car that’s been release in Portugal? It can fit a small child in the boot. It’s called the Renault McCann
Went to see my psychiatrist today. I keep having dreams where I’m a famous author working on the the Lords of The Rings Trilogy. He said it sounds like I’ve been Tolkien in my sleep.
Guy: Would you suck dick for a ripe banana? Girl: No Guy: What would you suck dick for? Girl: Nothing Guy: So, you suck dick for nothing?
Just tested positive for a ‘big ass’.
Looks like I now need to social distance myself from the kitchen.