Just joined alcoholics anonymous. I still drink large amounts of alcohol but now I’ve got a new name and passport.
Go up to a girl, hug her then say
“WE’LL BE WITH ALLAH SOON…….ALLAHU AKBAR!”
I’m so bad with women I can’t even get them to take their gloves off.
Q. What do homeless people look at when they’re on a computer? A. The recycle bin.
What’s the difference between a candle and a curry?
A candle only burns at one end.
Instead of buying Christmas presents for your kids why not give them wisdom instead?
If you wrap up an empty cardboard box this will teach them about disappointment.