Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Can’t Remember

in General Jokes
+6 -15

You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember why you went upstairs or who owns the house you’re or why a police man is shouting at you.

First Fight

in Relationship Jokes
+39 -48

After 3 years of marriage, me and the wife had our first real fight last night.
I called my dad for advice on how to fix things.
He told me to apologize and admit I was wrong.
I was really looking for advice on how to dispose of the body.

McDonalds

in Surreal Jokes
+18 -27

An elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile walk into McDonalds and interrupt a half-naked man eating a burger. The crocodile pulls out a police badge and says, “We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of a hallucinogenic nature, Sir.”

Hospital

in Relationship Jokes
+15 -24

My wife just came back from the hospital the other day and the doctors told her she had Covid19.

I was devastated. I had a brilliant cancer joke lined up.

Bounty Hunter

in Racist Jokes
+24 -33

I got a job as a bounty hunter in China.

Couldn’t believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me!

Woman and Wine

in Relationship Jokes
+7 -16

Three reasons why a woman is like a bottle of wine?

1. They’re difficult to pick.
2. They become more expensive with time.
3. If you taste it too early its a gRAPE.