My Grandma died on her 100th birthday. It was a real shame, we were only half way though giving her the bumps.
My wife is so selfish that the only blowe jobs I get is when my soup is too hot.
Q. How can you tell if Obama is lying? A. His teleprompter is glowing.
Just spent the past 2 hours on the toilet… I’m getting too old for this shit.
When women see me naked they often say I look like a Greek god. I think the gods name is Hermaphrodite.
Just quit my job at the poultry farm. I’m fed up of working with cocks.