If good things come to those who wait then is being put into prison really a punishment?
Two flies on a piece of dog shit. One of them farts, the other says, “Do you mind, I’m having my dinner”.
I used to make a lot of money in houses but then the police tracked me down and confiscated my printing press.
Went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a loaf of bread, the birds were all over me.
Most people are shocked when they find out…
I’m a self-taught electrician.
Three reasons why my wife is like a computer.
1. She’s good at remembering credit card details. 2. She knows everything about every subject. 3. She always complains about having a virus whenever you try and do anything dirty with her.