Someone called me racist the other day. I can’t be racist, my wife has a black eye.
Last night my girlfriend told me I have the body of a god. Unfortunately that God was Bhudda.
My wife told me I was one in a million. After looking though her text messages I found out she was right.
Yo mama is so stupid that when she had phonesex she had to go to hospital to get her iphone removed.
Apparently when your wife says “do whatever you want” that’s not what she means. Luckily the stripper I ordered agreed to a refund.
Last night my wife told me she wanted to do some role-play and aked me to pick any scene from any film. She quickly realised this was a mistake after I shouted “THIS IS SPARTA” and kicked her down the stairs.