Saw 2 fat people talking earlier today. It was a HEAVY discussion!
I’m currently having an affair but I’ve saved my mistress’ phone number as ‘LOW BATTERY’.
Whenever she calls and I’m not around my wife plugs my phone into the charger.
The following conversation took place after getting pulled over by the police.
Police: How high are you? Me: I think what you meant to say is “Hi, how are you!”.
Scientists in India have now invented a new Covid Vaccine.
It’s called the Pun-jab.
Love taking French lessons! Sometimes I get so excited sometimes a little “oui” comes out.
Q. What’s worse that your mum walking in on you when you’re watching internet p*rn?
A. Changing the tab to Facebook and then realising your 14 year old sister’s “Beach Holiday” photos are on the monitor.