Last night my wife allowed me to go on top. I love bunk beds!!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a politician?
A politician is more expensive, talks more and f*cks you for longer.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?? SpecialForces
What’s the fastest thing in the sea?
Stevie Wonder’s Ferrari.
Saw 2 fat people talking earlier today. It was a HEAVY discussion!
I’m currently having an affair but I’ve saved my mistress’ phone number as ‘LOW BATTERY’.
Whenever she calls and I’m not around my wife plugs my phone into the charger.