When I found out my girlfriend was having a baby my life really changed. I changed my name, address and phone number.
I hope the thief who stole my anti-depressants is happy now.
When I was younger I used to think I was gay but then I found out that playing with yourself doesn’t count.
I hate being bipolar, it’s amazing.
I’ve just Wrote a really awesome song about fajitas… Well it’s more of a wrap really.
Had a really stiff neck when I woke up this morning. My wife said she hopes it spreads.