Just had the following conversation at the airport
Security: Do you mind if we search your luggage? Me: It depends, what are you looking for? Security: Drugs Me: Well in that case, no!
Why are black people taller that white people? Because their KNEE GROWS.
Yo mama so ugly even bob the builder cant fix her.
Got given a Jehovah’s Witness advent calender today. Every time you open the door there are 2 people standing behind it.
Wife’s really angry tonight complaining I never buy her flowers!
Didn’t even realise she sold flowers.
Managed to get a hand job yesterday. I now work for Argos modelling watches.