Yo mama is so fat when she wears a green dress she looks like a pool table.
Decided that I am going to buy my girlfriend flowers every day in February. The girl who works in the florists is really hot.
Democracy: Where any two idiots can outvote a genius.
People say dogs are loyal and man’s best friend but I think cats are more loyal than dogs. A cat has never ratted on anyone for having drugs.
Scientists have recently discovered that having birthdays is good for your health. The more birthdays you have the longer you live.
That’s the last time I ever use dating websites. When I said I wanted to meet someone positive I didn’t mean HIV.