Wife’s really angry tonight complaining I never buy her flowers!
Didn’t even realise she sold flowers.
Managed to get a hand job yesterday. I now work for Argos modelling watches.
I got in touch with my inner self today.
That’s the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll.
I have a fear of speed bumps
But i am slowly getting over it
Why is it acceptable for Muslim women to wear a hijab but when I go into a bank wearing a Balaclava everyone freaks out?
So much has changed since my girlfriend got pregnant. Like my name, address and telephone number!