Girlfriend died last night in the middle of oral. It was a bit of a blow.
Shit I’ve survived:
Mad Cow Disease ✓ HIV Aids ✓ Sars ✓ Bird Flu ✓ Swine Flu ✓ Ebola ✓ Coronavirus (pending)
Q. Why do sharks avoid eating black people? A. They think it’s whale shit.
I was gonna make a joke about black people but I guess I’ll have to slave it for later.
Found out last night that watching your lover sleep is only romantic if they know who you are.
Saw this stunning girl at a bar last night. I got her a drink, walked over to her and then felt my knees go weak and my stomach turn to butterflies. Turns out that I spiked the wrong drink by mistake.