I went to my doctor and he said he had some good news and some bad news. He said the good news was that he got my test results and I had two days to live. Then he said the bad news was that he has been trying to contact me for two days.
I’d tell you a Covid joke but there’s a 99.696% chance you won’t get it.
I’ve got a tip for you or if you like I can put the whole thing in.
Saw a dwarf prisoner today climbing down the wall.
I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.
Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date, today I asked her to marry me.
She said no, on both occasions.
Sex is like math. You add a bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and pray there is no multpilcation.