I told my parents today: “Mum, Dad… I’ve decided to live on my own from now on.” “Okay, cool,” they replied. “Your luggage is outside,” I added.
Girlfriend died last night in the middle of oral. It was a bit of a blow.
Yo mama is so ugly she was hired by a prison to cure sex offenders.
What do you call a man who randomly attacks people with his lower forearm?
A terror wrist.
Why couldn’t the tissue paper cross the the road? …………it got stuck in the crack.
What if slugs are just divorced snails?