The following conversation took place after a man accidentally elbowed a woman in the breasts.
Man: Really sorry, if your heart is as soft as your boobs you’ll forgive me.
Woman: If your c*ck is as hard as your elbow meet me in room 89
Just discovered a great way to save time in the morning. I now eat breakfast before I go to bed.
Just had the following conversation with my neighbor.
Neighbor: I’m fed up of your dog crapping in my garden.
Me: It wasn’t my dog.
Neighbor: How do you know?
Me: Because I did it!!
Paddy won the lottery, 22 million, He went to collect his winnings and they said, Really sorry Paddy but we haven’t got enough money to pay you it all. We will give you 11 million this week and 11 million next week, Ah be Jesus says paddy. If your gonna mess me about gimme me pound back.
Once upon a time there was a c*nt.
It was you.
The end.
Called the rape help-line today, apparently its only for victims!