Best Funny General Jokes

Just got a $20 voucher for my birthday. Why not just give me a $20 note so I can spend it anywhere without restrictions?

Do you struggle with maths at school?? Just go to www.McDonalds.com/careers.

Pissing in the kitchen sink saves so much time. Although some of my coworkers at McDonalds are starting to really freak out.

Got a really upset my stomach at the moment and just farted in my local supermarket. Luckily I was standing in the cheese isle at the so nobody noticed.

If my grandmother ever found out how much I spent on her funeral. She would be spinning in her ditch.

I found out last night that alcohol is no substitute for a woman. After 3 hours in intensive care the doctors finally managed to remove my c*ck from my bottle of Budweiser.