Best Funny General Jokes

There once was a guy from Capri, who tried to pee over a tree , he peed so high it fell in his eye, now the poor c*nt cant see.

Just drove to work in a £200,000 vehicle. I love catching the bus.

Have you heard about the latest apple product?

It’s green and it goes in your mouth… It’s called a ‘Granny Smith’.

Just won the £500 1st prize at my local weightwatchers weigh-in this week for loosing the most weight after successfully hiding 10kg of lead fishing weights in my pockets last week.

Just been sacked from my job as a chef for stealing.

I’ve always been whisk taker.

My mate died recently after taking an E. Countdown’s security staff don’t fuck about.