Best Funny General Jokes

Started my new job as a postman today…
The pay isn’t great but I managed to give myself a really good bonus from the envelopes addressed “Cash 4 Gold”.

Just went to the bank to pay some bills and they made me prove my identity. What’s the point in that? Is it common for strangers to pay bills and if so why is the bank stopping them?

When is it fun to serve a rubber turkey?
… At pranksgiving

Just joined alcoholics anonymous. I still drink large amounts of alcohol but now I’ve got a new name and passport.

Q. What do you call a woman with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.

You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember why you went upstairs or who owns the house you’re or why a police man is shouting at you.