Best Funny General Jokes

My family have always been scruffy dressers, i guess its in our genes.

The following conversation took place between 2 pirates.

Pirate 1: I heard its your 30th birthday today.
Pirate 2: Aye matey.
Pirate 1: Wow, 80, you look a lot younger.

Just found a self help book that has a 90% discount but the book is in Spanish and none of my Spanish friends have the time to come over to my house to help me read it.

Did you hear about the gypsy who won the lottery?
They paid him with travelers cheques.

My car has become known locally as ‘the pussy wagon’. Not because I’m good at getting girls but because I cry a lot when I’m alone.

Just quit my job at the ice-cream factory. Kept getting the cold shoulder.