Best Funny General Jokes

Just got my best friend a fridge for his birthday.

I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

ive always wanted to be a doctor but ive never had the patience…

I raised the fire-alarm at work today.

The midgets in my office were furious.

What a sh*t day I’m having. Just picked up my dictionary to find that most of the pages have been ripped out.

It just goes from bad to worse!!

Q. How many men does it take to mop the floor?

A. Zero, that’s a woman’s job.

I joined the Weight Watchers dieting club last week. I’m just starting to find my feet at the moment.