Best Funny General Jokes

I’ve managed to loose loads of weight this month. The whole ‘not having any money for food’ thing is really working well.

I hate job interviews, they always end badly. I just never seem to be able to pick the right moment to lean in and go for the kiss.

What’s the difference between a ginger person and a shoe?
A shoe has a soul.

Sometimes I like to use big words I don’t understand to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

I said ‘Hello’ to a feminist the other day. My trial starts next week.

The following conversation took place this morning.

Me: Sorry boss can’t come in today my car has broken down.
Boss: What about the bus?
Me: I don’t have a bus.