Best Funny General Jokes

What’s another word for thesaurus?

Appear 10 years younger by telling everybody you are 10 years older than you actually are.

I don’t mind being bossed around as long as the person ordering me about doesn’t mind being told to fuck off.

Discovered yesterday I have liftophobia, fear of lifts. I’m taking steps to avoid them.

My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday. I couldn’t find the words to thank them.

Some people say alcohol is dangerous but I disagree. The people on the Titanic didn’t die from drinking too much alcohol, they died from drinking too much water.