Best Funny General Jokes

What do you call a man who randomly attacks people with his lower forearm?

A terror wrist.

My friend who is very small, told me he was pick pocketed. I was shocked, I never thought somebody could stoop so low…

Bad things to write in a birthday card.

“Life is pain, misery, suffering and a slow march to death. Happy 5th birthday Katie.”

Found out last night that watching your lover sleep is only romantic if they know who you are.

Q. Why do women hold a grudge against you for many years if you call them fat?
A. Because elephants never forget.

Saw a dwarf prisoner today climbing down the wall.

I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.