I never have any luck with women. The other day my girlfriend won a trip for 2 to Las Vegas, she went there twice on her own.
Last night my wife asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a coloring book and some crayons.
Did you know that 85% of pie charts resemble Pacman?
Q. What’s long, black and dangerous?
A. The queue at KFC.
Just been told by my psychiatrist that i’m bipolar. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
When I was younger a double jab was a boxing move and going shopping in a mask was something you did during armed robbery.